Alchemical Folly, An

"You can't be serious."

"And why can't I be? I'm perfectly serious!"

"This isn't a game, Rosa, this is--"

"Serious. I know, you said." The young woman crossed her arms over her chest petulantly, staring down the slightly older man with determination. "Look, I'm not a little kid anymore. The hunters won't take me, and the priestesses say I'm too rowdy. I'm begging you, Helain, if I don't do something for the tribe, I'll go insane. I won't be a layabout." Her scowl turned to a hopeful smile as she added, "Besides, you're the only alchemist. Imagine how much easier things would be on you if you had someone assisting you."

Helain sighed, rubbing at his tired eyes. He'd be lying if he said he couldn't use the help. Every year, the tribe got bigger. Ever since they had migrated to the Wyhur Woods, the people of the tribe had enjoyed a time of peace and prosperity. The land was fertile and seemingly untouched by any traces of man. For the first time in recent memory, the tribe could settle down and expand, putting down roots to grow. For the most part, it was a blessing.

For Helain, it was a headache.

Though the people were not dying to war and invasions, they were not immune to illness and disease. Population was at an all-time high, and that meant the need for Helain's services as healer, shaman, and alchemist were also at an all-time high. He couldn't remember the last time he had gotten a proper break.

So who was he to turn down Rosa when she came to his doorstep one warm summer's afternoon? The two had known each other for years; although the young lady was brash, loud, and on occasion obnoxious, Helain knew her heart was in the right place. He was just about the only person in the tribe who could tolerate her for extended periods of time, so he knew he was the only person that could put her to work.

"All right, fine," the man conceded, scratching absentmindedly at his stubble. "Just don't make me regret this Rosa."

"I won't! Have some faith, old man." She grinned happily, smoothing out the creases of her robes.

"I'm not old, you little shit," Helain growled, already regretting signing his best friend on. "You just don't act your age."

"Whatever. Just get to teaching, Gramps." She batted her eyes innocently, slumping into one of Helain's chairs. His eye twitched slightly as he saw the worn wood creak at her careless treatment. He hated allowing her in his home. It wasn't particularly small, it was actually one of the larger abodes in the tribe. Somehow, whenever Rosa entered it, something ended up destroyed. Not wanting to continue that trend, the alchemist quickly stood from his own seat, ushering her up and out the door as he grabbed an empty wicker basket.

"First lesson: gathering ingredients. Out, out."

"Jeez, I get it, you don't have to push." She snorted as he nearly shoved her out of his home, shutting the door behind him. "What are we looking for, exactly?"

Helain gestured for her to follow him as he took off in the direction of the Wyhur Woods. His house was placed just at the edge of the tribe's village, its location strategic for any alchemist. Within five minutes, the open fields and farms of the village disappeared, replaced by soaring trees and lush foliage. The general noise of the village nulled into the quiet hum of the forest. Helain did not speak during these minutes, his eyes taking in every aspect of the woods. Rosa had a little less patience than he, her annoyance coming to a slow boil as she waited for his answer. Eventually, he turned his head to her, not stopping his easy pace.

"My apologies. I rarely get a moment's peace these days, so I do try to take it when I can." He cleared his throat, before finally responding to Rosa's question. "Since this is your first time attempting anything alchemical, we'll be starting with the basics, nothing too big. Simple concoctions with few requirements. As you become more skilled, you'll be able to take on more complex recipes. The first potion I want you to make has three ingredients: water, deke grass, and ioku berries. The first is easy, obviously. I have plenty of water at my house. Deke grass can be a bit trickier to find, because it's hard to distinguish from normal grass. I'll handle that. Your job will be to gather the ioku berries. They're about the size of a cherry, but they have a deep blue color and no pit. You'll find their bushes close to water, so look around the stream to the north. Follow the sound of rushing water, they can't be too far. Fill up this basket and bring them right back to me. If you can't find me in the forest, just go back to the house. We'll find each other there."

"Sure thing, boss!" Rosa saluted, taking the basket from Helain and heading towards the north. The alchemist sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. The regret was really starting to set in. Shaking his head, he meandered off in the opposite direction.

It didn't take long for Rosa to stumble across the river her mentor spoke of. Dipping her hands into the clear water, she splashed a handful of the cool substance against her face, washing away the summer's heat. As she wiped the droplets of water off her face, she caught sight of a cluster of bushes on the opposite bank. Glimmering in the filtered sunlight, dark blue berries sat alluringly among the emerald leaves.

"Aha! There they are!" Lifting the skirt of her robes, Rosa waded across the river carefully, before delightedly plopping down beside the bushes. The fat berries practically called out to her. Dragging Helain's basket to her side, Rosa began plucking the berries from the bushes without delay. She nearly cleared an entire bush of its fruit when the basket was suitably full. She beamed down at the shining contents, pride swelling within her. "Hah! Helain's gonna be so pleased! He'll regret ever making fun of me." She made to get up when a thought struck her, or more accurately, a grumble struck her stomach. "Oh, man, I missed lunch, didn't I?"

She stared longingly down at the ripe ioku berries, struggling inwardly. "I'll just try one... I can always pick more, anyway. There's plenty here, Helain doesn't have to know." Her struggle over, she happily popped a berry in her mouth.

A moan passed her lips as the sweet juice broke over her tongue, streaming smoothly down her throat. The fruit the farmers in the village harvested paled in comparison to these berries. She swallowed the ripe berry enthusiastically, grabbing for another, then another. Before she knew it, the basket was empty once more.

"Oops... I went a bit overboard... No matter, I'll just fill it up again." Grinning conspiratorially, she quickly began picking ioku berries off another bush. When the basket was full, she stood, refraining from eating them all again. Proud and no longer hungry, Rosa set off in the direction of the village, careful not to spill any of the precious berries.

"Where were you? I've been waiting for an hour," Helain scowled at the sound of the door opening, followed by a very content-looking Rosa.

"Sorry, the berries were a lot harder to find than I thought they would be," she lied easily, placing the basket on Helain's workbench beside a bucket of water and several bundles of grass.

"Never mind that, let us begin. We don't want to waste anymore time." Helain briskly beckoned for his apprentice to stand beside him. "Now, you have all your ingredients. It's time for preparation. You see, different ingredients have different properties. This deke grass is an extremely useful ingredient, as it is highly reactant. First, strain the grass over a cup of water." He watched her obey with sharp eyes. "Very good. Mix it." The two liquids formed a see-through, light green mixture. "This is was you call a 'base'. You can add a number of variables to a base to produce a wide array of effects. The base is useless on its own, of course, which is where variables come in. Here." He handed the vial of green liquid to his apprentice. "Try it. It won't have any effect without a variable."

Rosa took the vial curiously, sniffing at its contents. It had no odor. With a slight shrug, she downed the base.

"See? Nothing. Now, when we add a variable, such as the ioku berry--"

"Uhh, Helain, I feel kinda weird."

The alchemist glanced at Rosa in annoyance, and he had to do a double-take at what he saw.

His assistant shifted from foot to foot, clutching at her stomach. A deep blue spot covered her formerly fair nose and was rapidly spreading outward until it covered every visible inch of skin. A loud gurgle sounded from her belly, before it began bulging outward under her blue hands.

"What the--" Helain stared incredulously at her quickly swelling stomach. She looked several months pregnant, and the expansion showed no sign of slowing. "That's impossible! You just drank the base, it shouldn't have any--" His disbelieving words were cut short as his eyes narrowed accusatorily. "Rosa. How many ioku berries did you eat?"

"None!" she insisted loudly over the audible strain of her robes. Her belly was approaching the third trimester, determinedly pushing against the increasingly tight fabric. Tears in the seams were starting to appear, showing off slivers of puffy blue flesh. She whimpered slightly as her breasts joined in on the inflation, blowing up in her robes. The two swelling mounds rested heavily on her globular stomach, nearly obscuring her vision as they were pushed upward. Her hands moved from her belly to her behind, which was also beginning to fatten up, pulling her robes taut.

"Really? Excuse me if I find that hard to believe." Helain groaned in frustration, trying to figure out how to reverse the reaction. Turning back towards his work bench, he called over his shoulder, "Ioku berries are conduits of nutrients. They store energy like nothing else, I'll tell you that. They're used in areas that suffer from overpopulation and poverty, to counter starvation. Usually, only a couple berries are used per potion. Now, I'll repeat myself only once." He gritted his teeth. "How many ioku berries did you eat?"

"A-- a basketful!" she confessed, eyes screwed shut. The pressure of her bulging form trapped within the robe's confines was building painfully, and she didn't know how much more she could handle.

Helain paled at her response. "You ate a basketful?!"

A loud rip was the only answer he got. Swiveling on his heels, he turned just in time to catch sight of her robe's surrender, the pathetic cloth shredding at the seams. Her inflated flesh surged outward at its merciful release, the overwhelming weight bringing her to the floor. She bounced on her swollen rear, her enormous belly pushing her pudgy thighs aside to rest on the floor. Her breasts each appeared the size of a goat, dark blue nipples engorged and erect. As she fell, a conspicuous sloshing sound echoed from her body. It was pretty obvious she was filling up with ioku juice, and she was running out of space. Every minute, her fat buttocks lifted her higher into the air, her hips almost stretching across the room. Her legs were in a near split to accommodate her ballooning stomach. A cerulean liquid was beginning to dribble from her fist-sized nipples, running down the exaggerated curves of her body to form a pool on the floor. Tears streamed down her face as she groped her swelling form in horror.

Helain turned back to his work bench, cursing loudly. "Dammit, Rosa, it's always in my house! Destroy your own place for once!" With that, he quickly began working on an antidote.

"I'm... s-sorry," she moaned through her sobs. The juice churned loudly inside her as she continued to grow.

"Here, drink!" The antidote hastily finished, Helain ran to his friend's enormous side, pouring the liquid into her mouth. She grimaced as it went down her throat; it was terribly bitter. "There. It's done."

Rosa peeked down at herself, and let out a cry of dismay. The swelling had stopped, but she had not shrunk an inch. "Helain, look at me! Why aren't I small again?"

The alchemist sighed, scratching at his stubble sheepishly. "This is the best I can do on short notice. I don't have all the ingredients for a proper cure ready right now. If I did, you'd be right as rain. You've stopped growing, but my antidote doesn't get the juice out of you."

"Well, tell me how to get the juice out!" Rosa flailed her arms uselessly against her engorged form.

"You could wait for the effects to wear off by themselves. By the amount of berries you ate in proportion to the amount of base you drank..." He grimaced weakly. "The effects will wear off in a month, possibly two."

"A month?!"

"Yeah."

"Is there nothing else we can do?" Tears were starting to spring to her eyes again.

"You're full of concentrated nutrients right now. Exercise it all off, and you'll be back to normal quickly."

"You can't be serious! I can hardly move like this, let alone exercise!"

Helain rubbed the back of his neck with a sigh, thinking hard on the predicament. "You could get someone to juice you, I suppose. The faster you get rid of the juice, the faster your body will right itself. It will take a bit for the blue tint to disappear, but you won't be so..." He struggled to find a diplomatic description, before settling bluntly for, "Large."

"Helain." He raised his eyebrow at her urgent tone. She looked him straight in the eye and said, "You gotta juice me."

The alchemist scoffed in irritation. "Absolutely not, kid. Find someone else to juice you."

"I'm not a kid! And there is no way I'm letting anyone else find out about this!" she shrieked, gesturing to her ridiculous figure. "Come on, Helain, you're my only hope here! I don't like it anymore than you do!" An indigo flush settled on her cheeks. "...Please?"

"Dammit, Rosa, fine!" He let out another infuriated groan, before his brow knitted in determination. "Let's just get this over with."

He walked around her enormous body several times, scrutinizing the best way of juicing the poor girl. She sat in embarrassed silence, the juice sloshing about with the slightest movement. Helain kneeled beside her, gently patting her swollen belly. Her blush intensified at the sensation, her massive stomach jiggling tumultuously. He ran his hands down the curve of her side, prodding at her incredibly plump rear. Rosa resisted the urge to slap him, though she doubted she could reach him anyway. He gave her thighs a brief squeeze, noting their firmness; it seemed they weren't full of juice, but rather pulp. Her buttocks were much the same. He sat back on his heels, shifting over to where he sat right in front of her. Her breasts spilled out over her belly, proudly protruding and obscenely full, thin streams of juice still dripping from her swollen nipples. From this angle, they obscured her face completely.

Helain rubbed his tired eyes. She wasn't going to take this well. "Rosa," he warned. "I don't want juice stains on my floors. This'll be the easiest way for everyone."

"What are you--" A surprised gasp cut her statement short as a jolt of pleasure shot through her stuffed body. Helain had grabbed a hold of one colossal breast and taken its fat nipple into his mouth. Words fled from her mind as her brain went blissfully blank, Helain's forceful sucking drawing juice from her swollen breast in large gulps. Moans of delight burst past her lips as the pressure was thankfully relieved from her taut body.

The alchemist pulled back from her breast with a scowl. "Hey, you're not allowed to enjoy this! You got yourself into this situation in the first pla--" His complaint was silenced as Rosa rocked forward slightly, her immense momentum carrying her blimped body onto Helain with ease. "Hey! You're going to crush me!" She cut him off once again by thrusting her breast into his mouth.

"Stop talking, start sucking." He begrudgingly complied, struggling to free his pinned arms from under her gigantic stomach. Finally succeeding, he grasped each side of her enormous breast, pumping out the juice faster.

She noticed as he continued juicing her, her globular breasts were not shrinking at all, but she was still slowly getting closer to the ground. She realized her belly was receding slightly, the vast reservoir of juice flowing to her breasts at they were emptied bit by bit. Despite Helain's efforts, she barely seemed smaller. As pleasure continued to be fed to her by the alchemist trapped beneath her swollen form, she came to accept she secretly did not mind the slow process that much. She pressed her outrageous form closer to her mentor, her plush thighs wrapping tightly around his hips. The lack of bulge she felt in return disappointed her greatly.

'I guess it's a one-sided attraction...' she thought to herself, sadness building within her. 'Even after all these years...'

She was pulled out of her thoughts as she felt Helain release her nipple. "Huh? Why'd you stop?"

Just over the top of her breasts, Rosa could see the alchemist rubbing his jawline. "My mouth hurts," he grumbled simply. "And I don't think I can drink anymore."

"Oh." She couldn't hide her disappointment now. Struggling to roll off of him, she looked down at herself. Her stomach had shrunk slightly, but she still looked as if she swallowed a cow whole, and her breasts and rear appeared as swollen as ever.

"I need sleep. We'll continue this tomorrow. We need to get you back to normal as soon as possible if you want to ever finish the basics of alchemy training." His words surprised Rosa greatly.

"Y-you mean you'll still train me?!"

"Yeah. Don't make me regret it again."

"I won't." There was a pregnant pause, before she added quietly, "I don't think I can fit out the door..."

"You can sleep here." Helain scratched at his stubble with a sigh. "You're more trouble than you're worth, kid. Good night."

"Tch. You're lucky I can't reach you... Night."