I'm Embarassed of My Fetish

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Anonymous
I'm Embarassed of My Fetish

Good evening, or whatever time of the day it is where you are. 

I had an account back in 2013 where I registered and then never returned. Thus, here I am.

I am a female college student. I am sexually aroused by balloon-style inflation and blueberrification. What's the problem here? I absolutely hate it and no matter how hard I try, I know it'll never leave me as that sort of thing is just hardwired into your brain. I tell my partner that I'll quit looking at images, which the fetish isn't his cup of tea, but it's very difficult as this sort of thing constantly comes in my dreams. While I do enjoy the thought of another woman blowing up, I'm 9 out of 10 times the victim. 

I won't ask how to rid of it, but rather how do I accept it since I've accepted that I cannot change.

 

 

Debuknight

Every once in a while I feel the same way. The thing is, having a more out-there fetish isn't a bad thing, it's just another part of who you are. Outdated puritan ideals teach us that anything outside of straight sex is, at worst, some horrible sin and, at best, something you should be ashamed of. But you shouldn't be ashamed. Your kink is absolutely 100% your business, no one else's.

I guess what I'm saying is, can you find anything inherently wrong with your fetish? If not, then for exactly what reason should you be embarassed? Because society tells you to? Well forget what society says, then. You're the better person for sticking to who you are and not betraying yourself, and you deserve to treat yourself better!!! :)

Yrrall_Dlok1

I came to accept it by deciding for myself that it was fun and playful and that it is my kink. Balloon-style for me is best as well.

Society won't accept the norm and I know I'm not the norm in many many ways.

When I accepted that I found it fun I found a lot of other things in my life relaxed back as well since I was no longer fighting against a part of my nature.

It can be a hard thing to just let it slide with your brain and instincts but when you do it can be quite a relief

kidquetzal

Yes it's weird, but having a special thing that turns you on heaps is kind of cool. You might not be able to decide whether you have this fetish or not, but you can decide how much you want it to influence your lifestyle and relationships. Give it time and don't be too hard on yourself.

airtankgirl5
airtankgirl5's picture

This is very smart.

 

85nobdss (not verified)

: )

AirPump
AirPump's picture

I know what helped me deal with it (and other personal problems) when I was in college was taking a course or two on psychology. Certainly didn't make me an expert on how the mind works, but it did help me better understand myself and why I thought the things I did. If you can't do that, I'd suggest talking with a professional, or at least someone who has studied these things more. They can better explain why you have these feelings and give you the tools you're looking for to help you accept them. The important thing to remember is that seeking professional help is in no way a bad thing, and doesn't mean anything is "wrong" with you. An educated psychologist is just better equipped to give you the help you're after than a bunch of strangers on the internet (no offense guys).

All this is of course if you continue to have difficulty dealing with it yourself. You took a huge step by coming here and expressing your concerns. Our collective experiences could prove to be very useful. Unfortunately, I for one only have experience with the typical "just accept yourself" response, as that is how I chose to deal with my feelings. Not exactly the best, and if you're completely lost it does nothing to set you on the right path. As I said though, coming here for advice was a good first step, and surely there's someone here who will give you the answers you seek. Best of luck.

Fill 'er up!

Berry-DukeAlt

The biggest part of coping with your fetish starts with thinking about why you enjoy it, along with finding a way to make use of the fetish. I was ashamed of being a fetishist for years, but I decided to do some inflation artwork when I first started my deviantart account. Eventually, I started to feel better about my fetish since I tried looking at it as more of an artform. 


Its ok to show concern for your pleasures, and its pretty cool of you to do that. 

airtankgirl5
airtankgirl5's picture

I was brought into this by an ex, and it pretty well stuck and I'm pretty well stuck with it, so...

It's not my only kink, but its certainly my weirdest one.   My approach through many things in life is if it does no evil and brings me joy, screw it, I do it. I've told all of my partners about it, most aren't into it.  Some don't even want to hear about it, some will use it because they have decided to do something nice for me and a rare few (ok, one) have actively enjoyed it with me.

I find misery comes from the inability to know one's self.  So I make sure that the ones that didn't even want to hear about it were aware that since this is a hard wired attitude, that I was going to get what I needed, if not from them, then somewhere else.  The one that insisted that I give up on it didn't last longer than that conversation.  Most people came to a relatively comfortable truce with the notion.  However before I can learn how do deal with it in others, I had to learn to deal with it in myself.  Undemonize it.  So then I'd say the salient question for you is,  "Why do you hate it?"

Answer that, know yourself and find joy in what is in all reality a very silly little thing.

Toodles

 

LisaHoneychan
LisaHoneychan's picture

When I was younger, I felt that having a balloon fetish was super weird and silly. Then, realizing that I also loved the fantasy of body inflation made me quite embarrassed all around. It took a few years of self-reflection to come to terms with myself and likes.

As long as nobody is hurt, I know the inflation kink (since it's mainly fantasy) is harmless. Even the love of balloons is innocent fun, since I normally endulge it solo.

In the scheme of things, my kinks are silly and playful. I hope you can come to your own realization of your kinks, and find inner peace.

doubleintegral
doubleintegral's picture

First of all, I don't think there's anything wrong with being embarrassed.  It is a bit of an odd thing to be attracted to, and I would be a bit embarrassed if some people found out about it.

I don't think it's anything to be ashamed about.  What makes it acceptable for dudes to like big boobs or big butts?  What makes it acceptable for women to like big dicks?  Inflation, along with many fetishes (foot fetish, bondage, BDSM, just to name a couple) is cut from the exact same cloth, but society just hasn't said that it's "ok" for people to like it.  Let's not forget the fact that the aspects of inflation that you are most interested in are completely fictional in nature and in no way capable of causing anyone physical harm.

I think the thing to be careful about is to not let it become the dominant element of your sexuality.  Dreaming about inflation, reading inflation stories, looking at images, etc. is fine, but if you ever find yourself less attracted to your partner because he does not fit into your fetish preferences, it may be time to re-evaluate my priorities.  I have always told myself that I'd take a break from my pregnancy/inflation fetishes if I could no longer become aroused by my wife when she doesn't fall into those categories.  It hasn't happened for me yet, and hopefully it won't for you either.

I also don't think it's terribly important that your partner also like the fetish, and you shouldn't feel inferior because of it.  Everyone has things they like or don't like, and hopefully there is a lot of common ground between the two of you in that regard.

NameTaken
NameTaken's picture

Having at least a bit of humility over what your fetishes is a good thing. That way you won't do something in public that you'll reget later.

85nobdss (not verified)

I'm looking more at the "victim" idea here than the "damsel-in-distress" one.

You seem to believe that you're not capable of doing the things that you want to do. But this is an illusion and if you see that then you can decide to do something else. The reality is you can change, whether you think this is your destiny or not.

justsomeguy44

You might be interested to know that we all go through this, at some point, I think. Sometimes, more than once. I've been feeling this recently myself and I think a part of it comes from having a partner who you want so badly to understand and feel the same way that you do, but they won't, or can't. They just aren't wired the same way. You start to wonder, why do I like these things? My partner does not. So what's wrong with me?

"Wrong" I think is not the correct word. Different, maybe. But not really all that different from the next guy or gal, who maybe likes shoes, or furniture even. There is a lot to be said for accepting yourself for who you are, especially those things you cannot change. And you should never feel bad about who you are as a result of judgment from others, especially when you're not hurting anyone.

I've been a lurker around here and struggled with this for quite some time, and only just recently when I began to express myself more openly with some artwork and comments on forums like this one have I begun to feel, for the first time really, OK with who I am and what I like. Communities like this one can be a big support, since we're all in the same boat. Similar boats, at least.

My suggestion for how you can accept this part of yourself: stick around. Don't clam up. You'd be surprised how many people around here have gone through the same sort of things and can provide, if nothing else, an understanding audience.

Best of luck,

-SMASH