“Subject 710, welcome to the testing facility at Swell Labs, where our products make you feel swell. As per your contract with us, you have opted to take part in the testing of our new product. This is our bioengineered blueberry that is supposed to be a meal unto itself. It is also supposed to give you all of your daily vitamins and minerals in a small package. Please, take this product and ingest it. We will then have a waiting period of thirty minutes to see about any side effects. Good luck and thank you for helping our cause.”