Prose that Blows Runner-Up: Funniest Story

Curious Case of Wendy’s Pregnancy, The

Wendy took deep, slow, breaths, trying to steel herself for the task at hand.  All she wanted to do was sit inside with the curtains drawn, safe from the prying eyes of her curious neighbors.  But the newspapers had piled up by the dozens at the end of her driveway, and she knew they’d attract burglars unless she took care of them.  And going outside presented profound challenges in her current state.

Average: 3.9 (8 votes)

That's the Power of Thongs

Padeesha’s dark tan skin reflected her Pakistani heritage, and her flawless, athletic body was an obvious gift from the goddess Venus. As she stood on the beach, her eyes gazing across the beach, she knew that her thong bikini had a hypnotic effect on every man there, entrancing any man with a working sex organ to do her bidding.

“Excuse me, miss,” said a nearby voice. “I want to leave my girlfriend for you.”

“Get lost, loser,” Padeesha told him.

Dejected, Brad Pitt slunk back to his comparatively plain-looking girlfriend.

Average: 3.1 (9 votes)
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