Prose that Blows 8 - Epilogue

Job that Blows, A

Mario was a simple balloon salesman of humble means. Each day, Mario would push his cart up and down the street, and sell balloons to whoever wanted them. The Italian immigrant didn’t discriminate.

Roxanne was a high-powered advertising executive. She walked past Mario’s cart each day on her brisk walk to work. Every morning she barked orders into her cell phone, coffee in hand.

Average: 4.1 (10 votes)

After a Wild Night

“And over the loop and back again and… there!” Emily smiled with pride at her handiwork, tugging at the silk string she just tied to Tanya’s golden belly-button ring.

“You’re sure that’s secure?” Tanya asked hesitantly.  She couldn’t see what her friend was doing.  She couldn’t see over the curve of her beach-ball sized boobs at all, for that matter.  She’d spent the last day bobbing against a hastily erected tarp-tent Emily erected outside her apartment, pondering her new condition.

Average: 3.9 (14 votes)

Community Service

Danielle felt a hand slide up the inside of her thigh and stifled a surprised squeal.

She was instantly flooded with some rather vivid memories of the last… however long it had been.  In that moment Danielle recalled the feeling of her legs growing thicker and thicker until she couldn’t move them anymore.  Now, of course, the hand wasn’t really touching her leg at all; she had no legs to touch.  It just felt like they were still there… sort of.

Average: 3.5 (11 votes)


It took five agonizing minutes before Claudia was able to work up the nerve to knock on the door. It only took a few moments for the house’s occupant to open the door.”He..hello Brooke.” She spoke nervously as she gazed at the face of her former nemesis.

Average: 3.5 (4 votes)


This was impossible. For brunette average punk rock girl Lily today was impossible… or rather what had happened to her was impossible. She’d been out most of the day and then come home to a not entirely unusual sight on its own. An uninflated balloon sitting on her table top in her bedroom by her laptop. What was unusual was the presence of a small note beside it on pink card… Do not pop.

Average: 2.6 (5 votes)

Curious Case of Wendy’s Pregnancy, The

Wendy took deep, slow, breaths, trying to steel herself for the task at hand.  All she wanted to do was sit inside with the curtains drawn, safe from the prying eyes of her curious neighbors.  But the newspapers had piled up by the dozens at the end of her driveway, and she knew they’d attract burglars unless she took care of them.  And going outside presented profound challenges in her current state.

Average: 3.9 (8 votes)

Frog Who Became Bigger than the Ox, The

She made it. Little Anna “The Frog” Salientia just won over the gigantic reigning world woman
bodybuilding champion Reina “The Ox” Angus.

“You look swollen like a balloon about to burst any minute! Please STOP! YOU’LL EXPLODE!”
complained Ranae, her worried sister, just before she entered the stage about two hour
ago. “I’m not about to… BURST, I’m about… to… WIN!” barely managed to say Anna, her face
all red, her balloon body at absolute breaking point. And indeed, she was now the best and the
biggest ever.

Average: 3.5 (4 votes)

Unlikely Heroine

From the Journal of Netia, Journeyman Mage

Moonfall 3rd

We did it. Vilroth is dead.

Actually, Sabi did it, amazingly. I’ve wondered why Harek would allow a barmaid to join his band. Being pretty, flirting, and collecting tips aren’t useful skills on a world-saving quest.

Average: 4.2 (6 votes)
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