None

"...are you sure this is safe?" Nathan asked, tapping the plastic nozzle. "Safe" being a relative term, he thought, considering the dubious hobbies of his girlfriend Maria, one of which apparently involved a nozzle inserted into the tip of his manhood that connected to an industrial-gauge tire pump. And standing naked in the middle of her living room, no less.

"Safe as houses," Maria chirped, fiddling with some gauges on the pump.

"Have you done this before?"

"Technically."

"...technically?"

The woman shoved open the side door of the plane, the sputtering engine spewing a trail of smoke into her face. Coughing, she leapt out, falling into the skies as her craft listed away from her towards the ground. Reaching to the strap on her shoulder, she yanked on her parachute's cord.

Nothing.

Reaching down, she took hold of the emergency cord and gave it a sharp tug.

Still nothing.

It was a nice sunny day at the Mushroom Kingdom and Peach had invited her friends Daisy and Rosalina for a lunch outside.
"It's great that we're at spring already!" said Peach happily.
"Yeah." said Daisy "I was starting to get tired of the winter cold." continued as she turned at Rosalina, who was watching TV in a portable TV set.
Rosalina suddenly stopped on the News Channel.

"And we cut to some breaking news!" said Reporter Shy Guy "A group of Subconians has broke into the Mushroom Kingdom Bank recently and is taking the money away!"

“Ms. March, you have to lose weight.  Your blood pressure is too high, your knee and hip joints are going to wear out and diabetes is almost guaranteed.” 

That’s what her family doctor had told her.  She only came to see him about a sore throat, but Mandy March knew he was right. After all, she was 27, five foot nine, and she weighed 320 pounds.