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Two quick squirts of Axe Phoenix. Sixteen minutes of laboriously brushing teeth. An eighty dollar dress jacket. Sixty dollar slacks, a twenty dollar purple tie and a forty dollar, yellow Van Heusen shirt. Shiny black dress shoes. Nearly thirty minutes arranging said tie to just the right length and position. Finally, after so much time, effort and money, I was ready.

Ready for my first dance with my new girlfriend.

"And Rebecca steadily kept inflating, her screams… um… out of earshot from anyone who could…do anything… about it, except for her alien captors. Her body began to round out and quickly became globular. As it became more and more of a struggle for her to move, her frantically waving hands and feet went limp and the aliens rolled her to their storage facility, with millions of others, just like her…Aw… that's lame as shit!" shouted Dave as he rapidly tapped the backspace. He leaned back on his chair, away from his computer and stretched his knuckles.

It was about a year after Jon’s inflation. Jon was now 19 with brown hair and bright blue eyes. Jon grew up in the city of Butler PA just north of Pittsburgh. He remembered the horrible pain and suffering that eventually led to him being a huge inflated balloon. Eventually it subsided and he returned to normal, but he still was angry at who ever made that drink. He talked to Tom the store owner and he said he bought back in the sixties from a place called Zeros pranks and gags. It took a while but Jon finnaly tracked down that store. It was in the city of Pittsburgh, PA.

I stepped into the doctor’s office, passing the people sitting in the waiting room reading all the dog-eared old issues of Redbook and Sports Illustrated. Heads snapped up and eyes gazed upon me as I strolled in. My rather large 82-inch American beauties in the blue stretch top I was wearing did a little sway and jiggle dance for my audience as I moved up to the receptionists window. My cute little butt was packed in stretchy denim-like pants.