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That Grumpy Writer

Tight

Submitted by That Grumpy Writer on Thu, 02/21/2019 - 04:02
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~&&~

Tight. So very, very tight.

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Average: 4.3 (18 votes)

Can We Hit One Million Likes Before I Burst

Submitted by That Grumpy Writer on Thu, 11/01/2018 - 10:11
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After only fifteen minutes and thirty-four seconds, Tiffany and her mother, Jessie, managed to disqualify themselves from the Wonka factory tour. Admittedly, it was an impressive feat to lose that quickly, and would be a daunting new record to beat. Wonka only grumbled and checked his pocket watch. At this point, the only thing that really surprised him anymore was his ever-growing losing streak wagering with those little orange bastards, whose predictions were always terrifyingly precise. Still, it broke the monotony.

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Average: 4.2 (14 votes)

Machine, The

Submitted by That Grumpy Writer on Tue, 10/30/2018 - 03:15
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The Revulcanizing Polymer Bonding Shuffler, usually just called it to save time, was encased in a colossal industrial sarcophagus, and stood as an unholy union of the bleeding edges of every field of science and engineering, from Quantum Mechanics to the Culinary Sciences. An outer case of stainless steel covered the labyrinth of coolant pipes, wires, sensors, and air ducts, which surrounded the it, and three huge hoses reached like the fingers of a hand toward the exhaust vents hung from the ceiling.

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Average: 3.2 (10 votes)

Blueberry Draining Hypothesis, The

Submitted by That Grumpy Writer on Wed, 09/26/2018 - 12:19
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Hypothesis: Bursting due to blueberry-induced expansion can be prevented by pumping juice out of the body at a greater rate than it is produced.

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Average: 3.8 (15 votes)

Vacation Plans

Submitted by That Grumpy Writer on Wed, 11/08/2017 - 17:19
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Little wisps of fog charged at the windshield of Angela’s Corolla as it wandered in the night, deep in a maze of paved-over indian trails, wagon paths, and modern blunders bored through a forest as dense as it was ancient. A thick leafy canopy reached around the road like a grasping hand. The Corolla’s dim, foggy headlights served as a surrogate for whatever little moonlight could reach the tarmac below. She was looking for a gravel road.

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Average: 4.2 (11 votes)

A Little Slice of Life

Submitted by That Grumpy Writer on Sat, 10/07/2017 - 18:06
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Deborah thumbed the marriage band on her finger while she waited on a wooden bench. The sun was dipping below the horizon. The neon sign for Dooley’s Bar & Grille buzzed above her. The dinner rush was at its peak.

“It’s been like five minutes. Maybe she cancelled?"

Deborah tapped her brand new shoes against the cement.

"I oughtta check, just in case.”

She took her brand new smartphone out of her designer purse. No new messages. Damn. She looked at her new wristwatch. Every second was agonizing. Each minute was an eternity.

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Average: 4.4 (11 votes)

Think of it as Karma

Submitted by That Grumpy Writer on Thu, 08/10/2017 - 14:56
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Monique couldn’t believe it was working. Who would have thought that a twenty dollar pseudo-pregnancy potion and some bullshitting would have so much mileage in a high school reunion? Her old classmates were noticing for the first time that she actually existed, and some of the ladies were --she couldn’t believe it-- actually jealous of her. It was amazing! Just another half hour to go and then everyone will think she has a fiance named Chad and a cozy apartment in Boston!

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Average: 3.7 (10 votes)

Revisions May Be Necessary

Submitted by That Grumpy Writer on Wed, 03/22/2017 - 08:30
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    Hilda sat in a metal folding chair in the corner of Bellatrix's furnished basement, trying her best to ignore her coven's ongoing meeting and get some much needed work done on an important potion for a very powerful and well connected client. But a room full of inflated eighteen to twenty-four year olds was hardly the proper work environment for alchemical research.

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Average: 4 (6 votes)

Evening News, The

Submitted by That Grumpy Writer on Fri, 09/09/2016 - 13:12
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Carmen looked herself over in the bathroom and made some final touches to her hair and makeup before feeling confident enough to talk in front of the camera. There wasn't much she could do. Even though she had a small kit with her, there wasn't much she needed to change.

"Alright tiger, get out there and knock 'em dead."

She walked toward the door and hesitated.

"But, maybe I should just make sure everything is perfect one more time."

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Average: 3.5 (4 votes)

Wasps

Submitted by That Grumpy Writer on Sun, 09/04/2016 - 13:47
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Leo spent much of his time with Julia imagining her naked. Sometimes, he would picture her doing whatever task she was occupied with at the moment in the buff; her pert breasts dangling over the homework packet, brushing the paper and arousing ever so slightly, just enough to make her do it again. Most of the time, her pubic hair was completely untrimmed, resting like a dust bunny on her thick, muscular thighs. Her wide hips supported an equally wide -although flat- ass that squished against the hard wooden chair. Her skin was unblemished apart from the freckles on her face.

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Average: 3.9 (21 votes)
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