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how would i inflate you

Adventuring Hazard

Submitted by pump1131 on Wed, 10/15/2014 - 20:36
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In time immemorial there stood in the antediluvian land of Mnar a great city of men; the City of Sarnath. It was a true metropolis, bustling with merchants and fortune seekers from all reaches of the known world. The bandage-wrapped talisman peddlers of Noor, the diminutive lizard beings of Outer Foth, even the fabled moon-beings could all be found wandering the winding streets and bazaars of Great Sarnath, hawking and buying things ranging from fine bronze blades to black lotus to dyed bolts of silk.

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Average: 3.4 (5 votes)

Questionable Decisions

Submitted by pump1131 on Wed, 10/15/2014 - 20:08
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"I can't believe we're doing this," you say as you watch me uncoiling the garden hose and screwing it onto the spigot. We're both a few beers in, standing in the yard on a warm fall day in swim trunks, and we're about to make some questionable decisions.

"Come on, you keep saying you've always wanted to try it! I promise, it'll be great. It's like a tire pump, but way better," as I lube up the end of the hose and drag it over to you. "Pull down the back of your shorts a little."

You comply, edging down the back of your trunks and bending forward a little.

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Average: 4.3 (22 votes)

FDA Approved

Submitted by pump1131 on Wed, 10/15/2014 - 20:01
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"Hey, want a free sample?" The girl held up a tray covered in small cups of what looked like blueberry milkshake.

Steve paused for a moment and looked her over. She was short, curvy, blond, and had a tiny nose piercing. Cute, even in the dorky mall coffee shop uniform. Her nametag read "Sara."

"Sure, but what is it? Isn't this place supposed to be a coffee shop?"

"It's our new Blueberry Spice Fluffocino! It's delicious! It even has new self replicating flavors, and it's FDA approved," smiled Sara.

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Average: 3.8 (9 votes)
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