Full Body Inflation

Sandra eyed the strange garment cautiously, trying to figure out how the object she'd bought online for $175 was going to help her lose weight. It had arrived in the mail that morning and sat in it's box on the table for most of the day whilst Sandra contemplated sending back the overpriced onesie, after all, she reasoned, they were only $40 at the mall. What made this one so special?

Hit & Run

As Dame Francesca’s host drew near
each wearing plates of steel,
the wizard in his feignéd fear
did turn upon his heel.

“You cannot run, you simpering knave,”
the dame called out to him,
“for I have twenty horsemen brave
awaiting, at my whim.”

“You cannot flee, this shall end here,
you’ll answer for your sin,
and for not yet another year
you’ll terrorize my kin!”