Prose that Blows 2 - Summer Fun (2010)

Method Acting

Charlie And The Chocolate Factory was a hit with the kids yet certain healthy eating lobbyists had always been concerned about its promotion of junk food, so they wrote their own version, Toria And The Tofu Factory, a story about a group of children who win tickets to a healthfood factory, where they meet various entertaining demises such as drowning in a vat of wheatgrass juice or being turned into rice cakes. Amazingly, it was even more popular and the day inevitably came when it was made into a movie and a theme park followed.

Average: 3.4 (10 votes)

Bad Beans

After the meal, Alicia burped. Loudly.

Around the campfire the other girls looked up, disgusted rather than perturbed. But screw them. Alicia was counting on them being too polite, in addition to their other faults.

Average: 4.3 (26 votes)


The hotdog was starting to kick in. A second go on the dodgems held no appeal. She agreed to meet her friends by the ferris wheel when they were done, accepting care of their balloons without so much as a blush to betray her pleasure at receiving so many lofty charges, their upward tugging giving her tingles.

Meandering past the booths and stalls, she rounded a corner to be arrested by a strange tableau.

Average: 3.7 (7 votes)


Kent Ashland had never appeared before the Happyland board before, but then again, he’d never created things like the stuff he’d just submitted. He was actually proud of taking risks this time, really working from his personal passions. He actually thought they were calling him up to give him a raise. But now that he saw them…well, they didn’t look happy.

Average: 3.9 (11 votes)


“Two Puffers coming up!” Sofia smiled as she cooked. Get the dough, inject the filling, deep fry, listen to the ooohs as the filling puffed up, spray powered sugar and another heart attack ready to go. As the family walked off she leaned forward and sighed. The job wasn’t horrible, but working an amusement park food stand was not a career. She never got bored at any rate; people seemed to love those fried dough balls, although Sofia suspected they liked seeing them puff up more then the taste. She had tried them and blarg, probably gained weight just by being near the fryers.

Average: 3.6 (7 votes)

Ride of Your Life, The

Everyone had seen the cranes from the highway for months, lifting steel into the air all over the Thrill Zone amusement park. Blaze, the penultimate breakneck roller coaster, was making its debut today. Its features were unparalleled: top speed nearing 80mph, two massive drops, eleven corkscrews, six loops, and over six minutes long, circling the entire park. For the grand finale, the train would vault itself over a missing section of track approximately 250 feet long. Clearly the ride’s designer was less than sane and probably in jail somewhere, but that’s what makes a good coaster.

Average: 3.3 (6 votes)

Impossibly Tight

Looking around nervously, she removed her string bikini. The tiny cove rarely had sunbathers, but she trembled with anticipation nonetheless. Straddling the tank, she lowered herself onto the nozzle, then firmly twisted the valve. She felt the tickle of enchanted helium entering her most private threshold, making room for itself inside her body. She arched her back and pushed into the nozzle, letting her hips wiggle back and forth a little. A sensation of airy lightness grew in her rounded ass, slowly expanding upwards through her belly and towards her chest.

Average: 4.3 (16 votes)

Gone Tubing

Heather kept glancing backwards as she walked to the beach. She told herself that she was eighteen now, and that the swimsuit she was wearing was appropriate for her age. Heather considered herself rather thin and scrawny, but the bikini top and thong bottom did a good job of presenting her feminine assets and making her look more womanly. All the same, she was glad her parents couldn’t see her as they sunned themselves on the elevated back porch.

Average: 3.6 (8 votes)


“Honey.. are you absolutely sure about this?”

Standing in the surf with water splashing at her ankles, she stares directly at me, her eyes indicating that she’s deadly serious about this.

“Of course I’m sure. I wouldn’t suggest it otherwise.”

“It’s just… it sounds pretty dangerous. And a little dodgy.”

“It’s not. Loads of people on the internet swear by it.”

“On the internet?” I scoff. “Now I’m less convinced.”

Average: 3.1 (7 votes)

Summer Job's Benefit

“I’m not sure I can’t take it!” muffle Bill as he pat his distended tummy.

“Oh, come on little piggy, you got the finish off your dessert if you want your surprise!” respond Halley, smiling playfully and holding a spoon to her boyfriend.

Average: 3.2 (5 votes)
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